I am Umar 

I am Umar a Gay man - aged 27 years - living in Kenya, in Kakuma Refugee Camp, Block 13. I fled to Kenya to seek for Asylum and to be protected because I was being persecuted and was going to be killed and burnt alive by my dad and family in my home country. 

I started having feeling for boys when I was just 9 years old but all the suffering started in 2012 I was in form 4 and I had a boy friend whom one day I was home with him, a house helper and this lady told us that she was going to the market to buy food and she will be back soon wen she left after some time we started to do romancing and all that but we didn't know that this lady had forgotten something she came back and wen she enter she saw us because my room is as not closed she screamed and our neighbours and other people came through and she told them every thing they broke my room door and they got in they found us inside stranded in deep fear and they pulled us outside while beating us and they told us to do what we have been doing inside.when we refused they called the chairman of that village /community together with his defence to come and do something but for them all they wanted was to kill us and they had sent some one to buy petrol but good enough the chairman came and told them that my mom had to first know about it an then they punish us. 

My mom was called and she came but people never gave her that chance to say anything and they wanted to beat her also and she ran inside the house to save her self and she called police to come and help her.God was good police came in time and they stopped the people who were beating us when we are naked and we were taken to the police station near by but people stoned it asking the police to let them end us and stop the curse in their community because we were going to spoil their children and we have to be the example to other that may think of being like us.my mom begged the police to help us at least they give us a chance and shift from that village to another but not to kill us.

The chairman agreed but he refused to give that letter which allows us to go to other village, people were mad and it was police which helped us in shifting and we went to Matugga were we rented a house and started over anew life but again we didn't spent even a month there and we got chased from there because I messed up again at the new school I had got I tried to vibe a boy who reported me and I was embraced in front of other students. My mom had no money on her so she decided to call my dad and explain everything to him but he got so mad and he came to finish me for good but my mom protected me although she was badly beaten up by my dad and I had to run to save my self, my mom was rushed to hospital and I was taken to my mom's friend where I stayed for the whole of 2012 and I finished my form 4.so in my vacation my mom took me to her friend whom she grew up with in Entebbe and when my mom Left this lady told me if I want to stay with her I have to change my status and become a normal boy like others which I accepted because I had no other option during that vacation like in December this lady started forcing me to sleep with her daughter and when I refused she could beat me up so one day she came in the morning like 6:30 and she told me to having sex with her daughter in front of her at first I refused and she started beating me together with her husband they called me all bad names on this earth she told me am a curse and she forcefully pushed me to the bed and told me to start but had nothing to do but to do as she told me and after that day I became sick feeling very bad for what I did but she told me I have to do it every day and I did but then after some time one day she found out that her daughter is pregnant omg I was beaten and she chased me out of her home that she can't stay with a cursed child that I was an abomination. she kicked me out when it was late at night I had no money and where to go but to walk through the night going back to Kampala.

I reached Kampala in the morning and I couldn't go back to my mom coz I didn't want to bring troubles to her again but I had a friend who was staying in Makindye and I begged him to help me and stay with him which he agreed but on one condition I had to be like him and we do sex working to earn money for a living and pay rent which I accepted and later that evening he introduced me to his customers and that night I got my first man who bought me and paid me very well so I started that job daily. From there, life was ok. Though I used to have complexion but my friend was good in it he could get me tubes and some pills so that I can get better.

In 2015 my friend messed up. He was beaten and arrested so for me I was not around that night didn't know what happened just came back in the morning and I was chased from the house and people wanted to beat me. I ran away and went back to the man / customer where I had spent the night I told him if I can stay with him and I hide my self there for some time. He wasn't bad he kept me till jan 2016 he got me money and told me to go to Dubai and work as a trainee in one of the waste management company and as am hiding my self there but before I left he gave me a number of a guy called Mark and told me when I reach I should contact him. so I met mark and he helped me a lot in Dubai still he introduced me to the Dubai market and I got a lot of money in sex working in Dubai and I used to send money to my mom because she had this kid of mine from her friend's daughter coz they said it was me who give her that coursed child but latter my mom found out that one of my big brother used to sleep with that girl and the kid was his though he has grown up knowing am his real father.

So in 2018 at the company I was working for there was a guy called Hubaib. I vibed him and this guy went and reported me to the HR's office and things became worse for me. The owner was an Arab he had ordered that they call for meeting and when I I will be arrested but one of my friend called before coz for him was working night shift and he told me not to come to work and if I have a chance I should run and go back to Uganda coz I may be killed or taken to prison for the rest of my life so I booked a ticket from there and I had to rush back to Uganda to save my life things became worse and when I came back to Uganda i bought a plot and build a small house for my mom so that she can be safe i started staying with her together with my young brothers and I asked my mom to bring my brother's son who was named after my name and I loved him as my own son and I be with him but she never wanted bring him because his father my brother was not happy with me but till one day it was his 5th birthday I got a chance of meeting my brother's son though I call him my son because I loved him so much. So I tried to find jobs in Uganda but I didn't get any till middle of 2019 I decided to start sex working as I was doing before so from there I met different men and in December I met a guy and this guy came as a customer after some time he asked to become my boyfriend and I told him we give it time and see.

In Feb 2020 I didn't know the true Felix till when he called me and asked me to come and join him in one of the local restaurants in Nabweru but I was home alone and I went with keys so I had to send my young brother a message telling him to come and get the keys in that restaurant after school. At 5pm my brother came together with his friends to pick up the keys. I introduced them to Felix but I didn't know that Felix knew my brother's friend after they went and it took weeks. One day it was Friday my brother asked me to help him with my phone and I gave it to him but I didn't know that his friend's family wanted to use my brother and my phone to track Felix. On Sunday evening Felix called me and told me that we go at holy fam hotel in Nansana to watch football after some time my brother called me and asked where I was that he also wants to watch football and I told him to come and join me but when he reached he told me to come and pick him outside which I didn't know that I was being tracked I went to pick him but I found a white car the moment I stepped outside the gate two men came and grabbed me and started beating, kicking me asking where Felix was so I told them and they entered got Felix and took us to old Kampala police station .

I was dropped off from the station and they went with Felix to his home where they found two young boys there and me I was taken to a dark room and badly beaten tortured and locked there till morning they got me out side and they brought me to a pared of prisoners I saw Felix and I told him that these people they want me to testify on u in court that you force young boys to have sex with you and give them money. latter me I was taken out and I was asked if am ready to testify in court if I want to be free I agreed but the boy had his uncle who is in army this man came and said that me and Felix we have to die or despair so that we don't do the same things to other boys and he wanted to have us him self and take us to safe houses when I had that I planned with my sister and I passed some of my things through the window and pretended like I was going to toilet and ran off and went to Masaka at Felix's friend and I asked if I could stay with him and told him to go and help Felix so he wasn't bad he went to Kampala and paid a lot of money to bribe police and get him out when he got out Sam told us to go far from Kampala and he called his friend who stays in Busia and told him to help us to be with him till night so that we board a bus to Kenya.

I came to Kenya on 8th March and I was registered on 10th March and taken to transit where I spent like 4days the I was brought to Kakuma camp reception together with Felix but for him he found out that the same company he was working for (LWF)is partner with UNHCR and he decided to run away up to now I don't know where he went. On the 1st of April, I was taken to community and given a house but that very night I was attacked by group of homophobic people and I was beaten and all my things were stolen,I tried to report at the police but the police officer him self told me that they were coming but they didn't come so i shifted and joined my fellow LGBTIQ community in block 2 where our houses again were set on fire on Easter Sunday night homophobic people wanted to kill us inside the houses but good enough we got suffocated and woke up but the only thing we saw was fire and I started shouting calling for help.Police came on ground and since then I started sleeping outside. 

On 27th April the community had planned to come and attack so that they finish us but we got to know about their plans and we went to the compound of UNHCR to seek for protection which they didn't give us till 30th April UNHCR ordered police to come and take use back and we were beaten badly and teargassed in front of UNHCR and they forced us back in community at block13.

On 30th May 2020 I was badly attacked together with three of my friends we had gone to get something to eat in Kakuma 4. But on our way back Sudanese attacked us and asked me if am a girl or a boy. Before I could even answer they started beating and one cut me with the pang. We had to run to save our lives.

On 25th May 2020 I was beaten and kicked by a police offer and I ended up in hospital. This offer saw me with a rainbow mask and asked me if I was a Ugandan gay and I replied him yes so he just started kicking me, telling me that we are not allowed in Kenya, why did we bring our stupidity to their country.

On 19th 2020 June got massive attack the whole of homophobic community attacked our LGBTQ community at block13 and we tried to fight but they were many in numbers we got beaten cut and other bad things were done to us all of our properties were taken by those people

On 14th 2020 got attacked by a group of Sudanese I was beaten stoned and kicked my phone was stolen and I was left there till other people came and called ambulance and took me to hospital.

On 25 January 2021 i was attacked by a group of people on our way to the clinic coz one of our friend.was very ill and we had to escort him to clinic but we got attacked and most of us got cuts and head injuries.

On 16th August 2021 our community was attacked at night and all our house were set on fire we lost all our things that night.

Life is continuing to be hell every day that goes. I kindly request the world to join us in our campaign of fighting for our freedom from oppression please.

#freeblock13kakuma

Thank you.